Thursday, May 25, 2017

Stop It

Dear Overwhelmed Girl/Boy,

Stop.

You have done too much for too long. It is not fair to yourself (I won't even mention family, friends, children, spouses, etc) to keep up this unrealistic pace.

Where is it written that you have to do everything? Where is it written that you have to say "yes" to all that is asked of you? Where is it written that saying "no" makes you a bad person and therefore you should feel shame and guilt?

My dear Overwhelmed Girl/Boy, the answer to those questions is - NOwhere. NOwhere is it written that you must be all and do all. The thought of being perfect and doing everything perfectly is so overwhelming, you will drown in that thought alone. Perfection is an illusion. Reality is, your best, which changes from day to day based on your physical, mental, and emotional health THAT day, is enough.

Why are you so hard on yourself when you would never react that way to another person? Why do you hold yourself to such high standards when you would give any other person the benefit of the doubt? Why are you allowing yourself to be run over by excessive demands in life?

I understand that there are basic needs you must meet for yourself and/or spouse/children. But beyond that YOU have the power of decision on your side. You are allowed to say "no." You are allowed to put limits on what you will give (amount, time, effort, etc). You do not have to be pushed around by someone else's idea of what you should be doing.

I guarantee you, NO one is doing it all. NO one is living up to the perceived perfection you think you see. EVERY person has a breaking point. EVERY person reaches a point where she/he must decide, "Is it worth it? Is what I'm putting my energy into worth it? Is it worth my worries, thoughts, fears to stay focused on this?" Often, what is taking up MOST of our energy is of LEAST worth.

So, my precious Overwhelmed Girl/Boy, take a deep breath. Exhale slowly. And allow yourself to truly let go of the unrealistic and embrace the realistic. Realistically, you will get 1/4th of the things on your "to-do" list done today, if that. And you know what, Precious One, that's more than enough. Realistically you will need to ask for help. There are seasons of helping and seasons of receiving help. Please do not judge one as better than the other. Both seasons have their purpose. 

Spending time Judging yourself is wasted energy. Why Judge what is when you could instead be breathing in calm and gently going about your day, one activity at a time? Please, find time to sit and rest. Carve out space in your day for gentle rejuvenation. Whatever that looks like for you: laying on a blanket in the sun; getting your favorite cool drink; treating yourself to some hand picked flowers; going through the drive through for chips and queso; napping when your babies nap; putting on an hour movie and napping on the couch while your babies watch TV; asking a friend to come over and paint your nails; trading off meal making days with a friend; and on and on.

You, my Sweet Overwhelmed Girl/Boy, are more than enough, just as you are.

Please, just be.

And trust that all is well.

xoxo (<--- click-able)

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