Wednesday, June 1, 2016

go fund who? oh, me :)

Monday night I started a gofundme campaign for my medical expenses. As I stated on my "campaign description," 80% of my treatment this year is out of network.

My parents did NOT ask me to do this, nor do they know about it right now. This is something I felt I should do. When God speaks to me it is with a thought or sentence that comes to my mind and I can "see" the words across my forehead. Twice I had the impression to start a gofundme campaign. It was humbling and hard to do.

I rely on my Mom and Dad for the majority of my medical, housing, and food needs. I work 14 hours a week in the evenings which I use to pay for "fun stuff," like my phone bill, clothes, gas, Sonic, etc.

This year our family has faced added medical strain with my Dad needing treatment. My parents also help my other siblings with various medical/car/living needs. I know the pressure has been hard on my Dad and he has said some things that have made me wish there was something more I could do to help out. I know my parents want me to be well and are invested in me. They have given selflessly for years. In 2 days, 10% of my campaign goal has been met! I am deeply humbled and grateful to those who have given. I feel words fail to adequately express how moved I am by the giving of family, friends, and strangers.

I calculated the cost of my medical needs for the rest of the year and that is where I came up with the goal of $5000. ALL of that money will go directly to paying for my Dialectical Behavior Therapy sessions, Exposure Therapy sessions, and Neuromodulation Technique sessions. Any extra money at the end of the year will be given to Mom and Dad as "reimbursement."

I have had the Shouts of Shame and Exclaims of Embarrassment echo in my mind phrases such as, "You are a terrible person for asking others for money," "You should feel really bad about doing this," and "You'll never meet your goal," but to these and other negative thoughts I say, "QUIET!" Yes, I wish I could do it all on my own, but I can't. And so I humbly ask for help and pray for those who have given and shared my gofundme campaign.

My ultimate goal is to pay it forward. I love what my sister B said when she shared my link, "A dollar goes far past 4 quarters or 100 pennies: it means someone cares and believes mental health is worth fighting." Any amount helps - sharing my page helps.

THANK YOU, my angelic supporters, thank you.

One of my milder seizures.

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