anyway - what she said in her post, wait for your 'manger,' touched me deeply and was a gentle reminder from god that i need to practice greater faith and patience in my life as i go through the trials i have been given. i hope you'll take the time to read the whole post here. it's a good read. not very long but so worth the time
one of the things al talked about was the discomfort mary must've been in during the travel to bethlehem as it probably took a few days. being 9 months pregnant and riding a donkey - ya, probably not the most comfortable thing in the world! she probably had braxton hicks and other pregnancy things i don't know about as i've never had a baby - but she kept going. i related that to me. in my trails there will be discomfort. it's up to me... do i stop and sit on the side of the road and say "i'm done" or keep going and make it to my bethlehem to see what god has in store for me.
recently my health has gone from ok in the seizure department to really not good. many events have happened in the past few weeks which i'm not ready to write about but we have learned that i in fact DO NOT have seizures and the working theory is i may have periodic paralysis.
this has felt much too heavy for me. i have little to no energy each day and severe muscle weakness with other symptoms. i have wanted to give up on this trial that god has given me. many times in my discomfort on my donkey i have not wanted to finish my trip to bethlehem. i talked to susan about what my options are and she asked me to think seriously about my commitment to life and living. she told me that i can still live a full and fulfilling life with a debilitating neuromuscular disease.
it is hard for me to accept this. but in my reasonable moments, i know her words are true. for a while i have wanted to change a large part of the world. but i guess i can be content changing my small place in the world.
many miracles have occurred and i was able to get a much needed doctor's appt yesterday instead of september of next year but i came away from it feeling afraid. that night i had 4 different friends bring me gifts. each one touched my heart and i felt such love from them. one gift in particular made me sob as i looked at the picture and read the note my sweet friend, a, had written on the back.
i feel my savior's love
i knew this was god's way of reminding me to keep going. that yes, my donkey may be uncomfortable, but my bethlehem is waiting, and he has something great and wonderful in store for me there.
this christmas season i am so thankful for the savior of the world who came as a baby into a humble manger. i'm so grateful that mary was willing to endure her donkey and make it to bethlehem and for joseph who led them with great tenderness. i love my heavenly father and am so thankful he sent his son. i know i'm not ever alone because my savior has walked the road i now travel in my life. he is the greatest gift and i love him with all of my heart.
this video brought the true spirit of christmas back into my heart.
i hope it will bring it into yours.