Sunday, September 14, 2014

balm in gilead

i have been open about the struggles i have been having with sadness in my life the past few weeks. people who matter to me and are close to my situation each have a different opinion on what has triggered it. taking all of their input into account and sitting with it in my wise mind i think that the moving away of my sister b, the almost moving of my brother c to alaska, and the upcoming mission of my sister s (like the one i did) made me feel pressure to 'get my life going' (get a job in speech now or go back to school, make money to support myself, get my own insurance before i turn 26 in april, move out, don't be depressed ever again, don't be anxious or panic about life, know and use all the dbt skills, accept, embrace, and be ok with being single for the rest of my life, repaint my car, loose weight, get on weight watchers eating plan for pcos, keep up my walking - AND DO IT ALL NOW!). add to that the hormonal imbalance from the pcos and i have been feeling very sad.

dealing with this sadness has been hard on me. going into another depression is one of my biggest fears. during this time my thoughts have turned towards heaven to my loving heavenly father. i have been praying for strength, support, comfort, and peace. 

these are some of the answers he has given me.

the following quote is from thomas s monson

"It may be safely assumed that no person has ever lived entirely free of suffering and tribulation. Nor has there ever been a period in human history that did not have its full share of turmoil, ruin, and misery.

When the pathway of life takes a cruel turn, there is the temptation to think or speak the phrase, "Why me?" Self-incrimination is a common practice, even when we may have had no control over our difficulty. …

However, at times there appears to be no light at the tunnel’s end—no dawn to break the night’s darkness. We feel surrounded by the pain of broken hearts, the disappointment of shattered dreams, and the despair of vanished hopes. We join in uttering the biblical plea, "Is there no balm in Gilead?" We are inclined to view our own personal misfortunes through the distorted prism of pessimism. We feel abandoned, heartbroken, alone.

To all who so despair, may I offer the assurance of the Psalmist’s words: "Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning" (Psalm 30:5).

Whenever we are inclined to feel burdened down with the blows of life’s fight, let us remember that others have passed the same way, have endured, and then have overcome."

i am grateful that heavenly father has heard his daughter's - this daughter's - weeping and has answered my prayers. many family members and friends have served as his angels to bless my life during this challenging time.

i am a mormon.

find out what i believe here.

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