Sunday, July 27, 2014

sadness, cupcakes, and skills

writing is what i do. it's what i know. when i need to think clearly or get something straight in my head, i write.

i consider the week monday - sunday, so earlier this week i had a situation that did not turn out as expected. i keep a daily dbt diary card for susan and started noticing increased sadness in my days. i knew i was feeling sad but didn't know what it was connected to. after calling susan and having her 'coach' me over the phone i did some journaling and was able to connect the sadness to the situation that happened.

the sadness fit the facts because it did not tun out as expected but it was not effective because it was lasting so long and i didn't want to feel sad. so i decided to really use my skills - especially opposite action - and work on decreasing my sadness and increasing my happiness.

thursday was when all of this came together and it also happened to be the day when i had dbt group therapy. when i started dbt with susan 15-ish months ago i committed for a minimum of a year and to attend a group at least once a week (once i was comfortable in individual sessions). at first group was hard to go to - new people, homework - but now i LOVE it and really look forward to it each week. in group we learn the skills of dbt and have opportunities to practice them with our homework and work through situations with each other. it's really great.

i decided that as my opposite action for sadness on thursday i would make cupcakes. if you'll recall from an earlier post i love cupcakes and they really make me happy. i made them for my group and we were able to use them as our mindfulness practice that night. i also really participated in the activities of my day and worked on being in the moment instead of worrying about what was to come.

i found that as i used this skill my sadness decreased! as a reward for making it through this week of difficulty i got my nails painted blue - it is my way of honoring the sadness i have felt - and got a JUMBO cupcake from bliss cupcakes and confections. it's the best cupcake shop i have come across so far and it's worth the drive no matter where you live! seriously! i consider myself a regular now :)

what emotion are you feeling and how can you increase or decrease it through skillful actions?


  1. Good job. It's hard to work on happiness when you are feeling sad.

    1. Thanks, DeAnna! It is but it's worth the effort. Thanks for reading :)