i saw susan today. during the course of our session i brought up that lately my life seems to be going in a really positive direction. i feel upbeat, positive, even happy. i have had two close friends say to me that their recent encounters with me have been really positive and that they see in me happiness. coming from such a dark and low depression, it is almost scary to have feelings of positive happiness because in the back of my mind i wonder, "is it all going to come crashing down again?"
so i posed the question to susan. "do you think i am building my life with a false bottom?" her response was quick and direct, "no! look at all the things you are doing: you're working everyday, you're exercising regularly, you've lost quite a bit of weight, you're social life is improving, your health (seizures/pcos/depression/anxiety) continues to improve, and you are taking more steps to be independent. what about that wouldn't create feelings of happiness?"
when she put it like that i could see the new life i am living for what it is. i am enjoying living every day. i am so grateful for the happy days. i can't thank god enough in my prayers for the health and healing in my life. my body is on a better sleep schedule, i am waking up at normal hours, i am not exhausted all the time like i used to be, i can think clearly. truly the blessings in my life are endless.
one of the fun toys i have been using the past few days is called a fitbit. you wear it on your pants and it tracks how many steps you take, how far you walk, how many calories you burn, how many stairs you climb, tracks your sleep, and it has a little plant that grows and shrinks depending on how much you do in a day :) so far i LOVE it! it's super motivating and fun to see the progress you make each day. i absolutely recommend it for anyone looking to increase their awareness of health.