Wednesday, June 4, 2014

the power of vulnerability

i wrote a post a few months ago about a hero of mine, brene brown. in it i talked about how she was one of the first people to get me thinking about my story and how important it really was - that it mattered and was worth telling. here is one quote by brene that has really affected me : "Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light."

today i had an incredible experience where i chose to be vulnerable (like brene teaches), authentic, and real, and i used my dbt skills. the outcome was fantastic!

i had made dinner for a friend and was driving it up to her house. the corn dog casserole was on the backseat and the rest of the food was on the passenger side floor. i thought i was paying attention to the road but apparently i wasn't paying very good attention because the people in front of me slowed down WAY fast and i had to slam on the breaks! well let me just say that man pam works 'cause that corn dog casserole slid off the backseat, out of the pan and under the passenger seat!! i laughed - cause really it was a sight to behold - i smiled - i said 'oh my gosh! ok don't freak out! you can do this! respond skillfully!' and i pulled over to the first right turn there was. wellllllll, the majority of the casserole was still in one piece and the rest i just kinda put back in the pan - i ran after the tin foil that had made it's way across the median - thank you, wind, and said to myself, 'ok, you're just going to be real and authentic and vulnerable (brene skills) and non-judgemental and throw yourself into this situation (dbt skills) and call r (my friend) and tell her what happened and ask her if she wants you to stop for new food or what she wants you to do!!'

so i called r and we had a GOOD laugh and she said 'girl you know this is something that would totally happen to me! bring it over! i want it! it's just the perfect thing to make the situation less serious and more light-hearted!' and really it was - because what's dinner without a show?? ;)

all-in-all i felt so proud of the way i responded. i was skillful and i would even use the word masterful in the moment and i was authentic with my friend. i was real with her. i didn't deliver a perfect meal, but i delivered the perfect meal for her. often i find myself thinking life would be a lot more relate-able if we would share our mistakes and imperfections with each other instead of trying to create the image that absolutely everything is - i'm about to use the 'p' word i despise - perfect. sometimes we knock the ball out of the park and we should celebrate that - but there's a lot of strikes along the way that we can all have a good laugh at. right? life's so much better with a sense of humor.

 i showed up today. i was seen. are you willing to show up and be seen?

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