last weekend i went to the texas speech and hearing association conference to earn my 20 hours of continuing education credits to keep up my license for work. the keynote speaker was brene brown who is a hero of mine. i was so thrilled when i heard she was going to speak! it has been a secret dream of mine to hear her speak in person. the reason she is one of my heroes is because she is the first person who got me thinking about shame when it came to my depression. did i have something to be ashamed of? was my depression my fault and something i needed to fear and hide? i decided the answer to these questions was NO and that my story was worth telling. so with her book the gifts of imperfections in hand i started this blog. she inspired me to live a life above shame, when - as i've later learned from susan - it doesn't 'fit the facts.'
at the conference she spoke about living a life of vulnerability - which is courage, not weakness - and how when you do so you open yourself up to so much more. she talked about doing this in a way she called 'daring greatly' and i fell in love with that term. it brings to my mind so much positive power in how you can direct the course of your life and influence for good the lives of those around you. she quoted teddy roosevelt as stated below :
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”
what a beautiful image of the human spirit this brings to mind! can't you just see this man fighting the great fight?! conquering his demons and at best triumphing over them and at worst failing but doing so greatly?!
there have been so many days and weeks when i have seen no light at the end of the tunnel - no hope - no 'out' - where i have fought my depression and seemingly failed. there were hopeless times - if you've been a reader long enough you've read them here! - but these past few weeks many things have come into a better alignment for me. a HUGE factor has been the right dosage of a good medicine. it has helped me find a new normal to deal with all the ups and downs of life with a better attitude and has lifted me from the depressed fog i seemed to have been living in for so long.
i don't know if i will stay where i am for a short time or a long time. susan says the dbt way is to take the good days as they are and deal with the bad days when they get here. but i hope that in any case i will begin to live my life 'daring greatly.'