it's incredible to me how so much can change in 24 hours. this time yesterday i was blissfully unaware of all that was to come. 6 am came dinner. followed by rounds of bile. and i know i got really good at throwing up - thanks to some great practice last year - but there is nothing like adding food and a headache and lack of sleep to that mixture to make it really special.
i may have been able to handle the throwing up without tears but the constant diarrhea pushed me over the edge. i was calling my mom and canceling work before 8 am.
this is what i really want to write about. my mom. and dad. my parents. they came to my rescue today. truly my mom. she came over armed with gatorade, saltines, and soup. she immediately got out the clorox and started cleaning. cleaning up my yucky mess. i'd tried to keep it as tidy as possible - but to quote mom "this toilet has seen some action" :) ya, it seriously had. but she just kept cleaning and started loads of laundry all while listening to her 23 year old baby cry. literally cry. even writing the word cry brings tears to my eyes. it's been an emotional day.
having an anxiety disorder can be very difficult when it comes to expected routines and how the week is going to go. well my week did not go as planned and that's really hard for me. it translates into lots of tears. so mom would rub my back and fold a load of laundry. listen to me talk and cry and point out the rational/irrational thoughts.
once a parent, always a parent.
my dad has been at work since 6 this morning and didn't get off until 6:30 and where did he come after work? my house. he walks in the door and i start crying. he listens. makes a few jokes. comforts me. gives me my sonic ice. and tells me about his day. anything to distract from the discomfort. he has to be back at work at 5:30 to work a 14 hour day. but he took the time to come see me, bring me what i needed and listen to me.
mom came back for round two and scooped me up and brought me to her house. truly tucked me in. made sure i was comfortable.
once a parent always a parent.
i'm pretty sure that every ounce of fluid now in me can be traced back to the sonic ice dad brought me. my body was literally juiced for everything it had today. and i wish i could 'juice' my heart and the feelings in there of gratitude and love for my parents. to let them know how much i love them and appreciate what they did for me. i hope my words are enough.
ending with inspiring words from s "believe in your bright future."