Friday, September 28, 2012

oh those hazel eyes

this post is for another pair of lovely hazel eyes that i know reads this blog.

they belong to my other sister :)

my dear becca, i am going to need your undivided attention for the duration of this post. please exit out of facebook, turn your phone off, and shut down all the papers you are writing/grading. it is my turn.

...i'll wait...

excellent. now that i have your attention, i'm going to teach you a word. as i am a speech therapist and helping others make correct sounds is what i do for a living, you can rest assured that you will excel in the production of this word.

is your mouth ready? take a little sip of water and clear your throat. now, lift your tongue up and push it against the bump behind your teeth. turn your voice on and smoothly deliver an /n/ sound. now keep your voice on and set your tongue down, pulling your cheeks slightly in and present a nice, round /o/ sound.

you did it! you said it! and i'll tell you what you just said! you said NO!

this is a very empowering word. it stops people from asking you questions, gets you out of extra assignments, and keeps your home (your place, your space) safe from unwanted leeches - oops, visitors.

this word can be used in many situations. let's start with an easy one. i'll present the scenario and your job is to say "no!" after. ready?

scene one : you are at sonic. you have placed an order for a dr pepper cut in half with vanilla, no ice. they repeat this back to you and ask, "would you like fries or tots with that?" you're not hungry and are not feeling the need for either so you say ///// \\\\\\ come on .... you've got this .... awesome! the correct answer is "no!" their feelings aren't hurt, you have what you want. end scene.

awesome job! you're such a rock star :) let's move it up in difficulty half a notch. again, i'll present the scenario after which you say, "no!"

scene two : you are at church. someone comes up and asks you totally last minute to give a lesson. no prep, the time is now, go! you stayed up late the night before working on school and were hoping to just sit back and enjoy the good feelings from god that day. so you say .... come on ,,,, you can do it! remember to turn your voice on ... "no!" the person is a flake - no harm no fowl - all is well. you sit back and embrace the rest of your day. end scene.

now, you've been doing so well up to this point :) i can feel the power of "no!" growing within you. let's put it to the test with this last and final scenario. you know the drill - i present - you answer with "no!"

scene three : you are at school. you have been up since 3 am - cause you're crazy and don't sleep well - you've been teaching all day and have been in meetings since noon. it is now 4 pm - wayyyyy past quitting time and a student comes up, with her 20 page draft and asks you to look it over and give her feedback. you haven't eaten, your caffeine supply left at 10 and you literally have nothing left to give. so you say .... i know, this one's hard ... i hear the pounding heart and the racing questions (will me saying no be the thing that gets me kicked out of being a teacher?? will she hate me and hate school forever?? what if a colleague finds out?? OMG!!) but it's an important word. come on ... you got it N CAPITAL O !!!!!! end scene.


allow me to explain why you must use this word - and the power it carries - more often. because, contrary to popular belief, you do not have to do everything or be everything  - (...wait for it...) e v e r.

your job is to simply be you. becoming comfortable with being is a journey and i respect the fact that you are on a journey, similar to mine, and that you are in a totally different place in your life than i am. but, my sweet sister, you cannot put your body physically, mentally, or emotionally through the actions, thoughts, and feelings of everything - all day, every day.

say "no!" add a "damnit!" if the person really is not getting the idea, and rest assured that allwillbewell. your world will not come crashing down when you say "no!" other's will survive. it will be ok.

and what more can we ask for than a simple, ok?

i love you.

and whenever you need a little refresher
(pay attention to the end ... people can be sneaky ... jump attack ya like a puma!)


  1. After reading this and thinking about the idea of saying "no" I had the idea that "no" isn't as bad as I think. Aunt Melodee said that sometimes we can have "seasons" of ideas. I have decided to have a season of "no" Monday-Wednesday. I will not take one extra burdens. I will not be the person who picks up another's slack. I will be no one's scapegoat this Mon-Wed. I will simply do what is required/expected of me. And no more. Tomorrow is an early morning and as such I will be tired at the get-go. So my goal is to take care of myself. And to drink unhealthy quantities of vanilla Dr. P.

  2. Both of you girls TOTALLY ROCK!!!!!!!!!!! You are so wise! Only nieces of the best aunt - moi - could be so wise!