Saturday, August 25, 2012

walking anyway


i have a cup i carry around with me all day and i call him, cup. though he should have a more 'dramatic' name for all the work he's done. see, cup's job is to catch my vomit. i carry him around like some might carry a purse or wear a bracelet. yes, it's true, cup has became an 'accessory' in my life.

back in june i wrote about vomit being my super power. and let me just say folks - never - ever - ever has time seemed so long ! i feel like i've been throwing up for years, but the reality is it's been almost 3 months. as one friend put it, i'll be super ready for pregnancy. though let's be real, i don't think i could ever do this again - so adoption might be the way i go :)

anyway, june found me vomiting - july found me going to the gastroenterologist - and getting an ultrasound - for my liver (while it seemed so many of my friends were having ultrasounds for babies -- that's a whole different post) - august found me having a specialized xray to watch my gallbladder 'work' - and the results showed that my gallbladder wasn't working - so off to a surgeon i went - and now, surgery on friday.

W . O . freakin' W .

keep in mind that on top of all of this, i have an anxiety disorder, making every test and doctor appointment hell, and i took time off of work - and now have to take more time off of work - and anyway , my mind spins with all the things to do and get done and ....

s u r g e r y.

so - what am i trying to say??

1 - i'm tired of throwing up. period.

2 - i'm ready for this to end and it looks like surgery is the only way out.

3 - i would gratefully welcome good thoughts, prayers, chants of the positive nature, or whatever it is you do to find god, spirituality, and peace in your life as i breathe through this week leading up to surgery.

i am doing my best to walk in my peace and beauty.
are you?

2 comments:

  1. oh no! that is AWFUL! coming from someone who gets major sick when i get pregnant, you have my unending sympathies! prayers for you! love ya:)

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    1. Thank you for your prayers - sorry it's taken me 2 years to thank you lol! You're one of my favorite people. xo

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