Wednesday, August 1, 2012


"all the greats seek balance"

this is something s told me many many months ago which has recently come into the front of my brain to take up residence.

all the great thinkers seek balance of thoughts to science, facts, reality.

all the great athletes seek balance of body and mind to compete.

all the great musicians seek balance of keys and fingers.

balance - ecnalab

this past week i have been struggling to find solutions to the mental and health problems i am experiencing. i was talking to my friend k about all of it and said that i am broken and need to find a doctor to fix me. she stopped me. reminded me of her two children who have difficult challenges. but would never - ever - be defined as broken.

instead, she said, our spirits are housed in this system (body) for a period of time and it is our job to help the system find balance.

and it came to me clearly. i am not broken. and i don't need to be fixed.

i need to find healing through balance.

these are the thoughts that led me to sonic today armed with chili's french fries and ranch dressing and purple sticky notes. i needed to see my options. see what solutions i could make out of the jumbled thoughts of information in my head.

option 1 :: do nothing - get off all meds - live in a cave - or find a way to live off the government forever - succumb to my anxiety. (this has been taken into serious consideration :)

option 2 :: do everything - see psychiatrist - see gastroentrologist - do all tests recommended by them - see a dr with a holistic approach - in other words do all the things !

option 3 :: talk to psychiatrist - don't do xray (per gastroentrologist) - see holistic dr - have gastroentrologist do endoscopy to see what the hell is going on down there !

option 4 : forget gastroentrologist all together - work with psychiatrist and holistic dr

with these options and many other post it notes filled with my brilliant thinkings i went to see a for some chatting and advice. it became clear to me that option 3 is the most balanced choice. i feel good about that choice. it sits right with me.

i didn't expect to find balance on a wednesday, but i did. and per the usual, answers came clearly when safely at sonic :)

now it is up to me to do something about my answers. to go and make appointments and gather information, balancing as i go. taking time to move slowly - think clearly.

all is well and all is well and all that matters is well.

all the greats seek balance.

do you?

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