maintenance workers have been out eight times to wet vac the 'stuff' .. drill holes in my shower wall .. hammer out holes in my shower ceiling .. and the latest and greatest .. sealing everything with wax ..
and let me just be very clear - you. DON'T. mess. with. a. crazy. person's.
s p a c e.
you just don't. it's not ok.
because it really - i mean really - messes with them. and they begin to panic and tic every time that awful drip drop is heard. they will also begin to flip out in public places, swearing they felt a drop from the ceiling or saw it fall. hmmm. oh how the imagination can ... well, imagine.
and so. i found myself hopelessly drowning not only in the bathroom's tears, but in mine. why wasn't this being FIXED??!!
surely, there must be a life lesson i'm supposed to learn before it'll go away. but like any good put-er off-er i decided to just keep calling maintenance. and let them 'fix' things.
well, it came to me in the shower the other night. one day i'll write a post about the power of a shower. oooo - it rhymes. but yes, back on track. it came to me that in a way, my reaction to the dripping in my ceiling was parallel with the grief cycle : denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.
this cycle is something i went through in all stages of its glory (sarcasm sarcasm) 19 months ago when my conversion and anxiety disorder became very um we'll say noticeable in my life. i literally was not // could not be the same person i had spent 21 years being.
i had to learn to slow down. breathe. therapeutically. (which is not easy letmejustsay) listen to my body. respect my journey. trust the process i was in. recognize that i am allowed to be different and make changes in my life. and there has been so much more that i've learned. this is just some of it.
when i realized that this dripping was a type of grief cycle and perhaps a reminder from god to look back on my life and applaud all that i've overcome in that last 19 months - i wanted ILLUSTRATIONS!
because nothing makes a story more fabulous than pictures.
and so with the help of my dear friend and artist, jamil, i present :
A Short Autobiography of Me
*note: the pictures need to be uploaded again - post in progress*
and i suppose that last picture sums up so much. breathe through the good. breathe through the bad. as S would say
"all is well and all is well and all that matters is well."